Trump Signs Executive Order Giving Him Control of Weather

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In what some congressional Democrats are calling a flagrant example of Presidential overreach, Donald Trump on Tuesday signed an executive order giving him total control of the weather. Under the terms of the order, Trump would assume the unilateral power to create all meteorological conditions, including but not limited to hurricanes, tornadoes,…

By JohnValbyNation September 11, 2019 0

Klopp is the perfect fit for Liverpool – Klinsmann

The former Tottenham star believes the European champions have found their perfect manager in his countryman Jurgen Klopp is perfect for Liverpool and the manager will already be planning for another trophy, according to Jurgen Klinsmann. Klopp claimed his first trophy with the English giants thanks to a 2-0 win over Tottenham in the Champions…

By JohnValbyNation September 11, 2019 0

'We often talk on the phone' – Kepa insists on strong De Gea relationship despite Spain rivalry

The contest to be Spain’s No.1 has created a healthy rivalry between the Chelsea and Man Utd goalkeepers, says the Blues star Kepa Arrizabalaga insisted his relationship with Manchester United goalkeeper David de Gea remains strong as the pair compete to be first choice for Spain in their forthcoming Euro 2020 qualifiers. Chelsea shot-stopper Kepa…

By JohnValbyNation September 11, 2019 0