Bugaboo Playtime Survey

Hello, friend! Once upon a time, you were a frequent player on the Bugaboo Playtime™ Web site or gaming console, but now—congratulations!—you’re all grown up. To help us understand our impact on young minds, please take a few minutes to let us know which of the following quotes from other users best captures your experience with our beloved products.

“In general, Bugaboo Playtime . . .”

a) “helped me realize the value of setting small goals to achieve big things.”
b) “stole precious hours of my youth” and “left me empty inside and alienated from my parents.”
c) led to a “chronic struggle with procrastination” that has “severely hindered my education and employment potential.”

“ ‘You’re the Only You!’ by the Bug Band . . .”

a) was a “catchy tune” that helped me realize “everyone is special in his or her own way!”
b) was a “tormenting, insidious earworm” that left me “catatonic, mumbling, and rocking in a corner for most of the second grade.”
c) to this day “incites fury when I hear it” and proved “more scarring than the Red Wedding episode of ‘Game of Thrones.’ ”

“Climbing Bugaboo Mountain . . .”

a) “was a fun and challenging way to spend a rainy day!”
b) often proved “so impossibly frustrating” that I “vented my anger on the nearest sibling or pet.”
c) left me feeling that “life was futile,” resulting in “cavernous depression,” which “not even reckless promiscuity could resolve.”

“The Bugaboo Meet-up Barn . . .”

a) was a “great place to meet kids online and learn about other cultures.”
b) gave me “severe stranger anxiety” so that “I’m now unable to use public restrooms without crippling panic attacks.”
c) was “essentially a troll farm for creeps.”

“Bug-a-Builder mode . . .”

a) “enabled me to spend endless hours exploring my creativity and self-expression.”
b) encouraged a “false hope of possessing actual engineering abilities,” resulting in “wasted years” and “shattered dreams.”
c) made me “a stimulus junkie” with “insatiable neural cravings” that can only be satisfied by a “meth habit.”

“Bugaboo Bucks . . .”

a) “was a simple, fun way to learn about responsible spending.”
b) led to “the draining of my parents’ bank account, just to buy skins for my online B-Buddies,” forcing “all eight of us to move into my uncle’s trap house in a terrifying neighborhood.”
c) was a “great way for international drug syndicates and corrupt world leaders to launder blood money through an untraceable online currency.”

“Flerby-Derby-Doo! . . .”

a) was a “fun race that emphasized good sportsmanship and teamwork.”
b) set “false expectations” of coöperation that “rendered me defenseless, naïve, and unemployable in the competitive real world.”
c) “undermined my sense of fairness,” leaving me with a “deeply cynical, nihilistic world view” and a “complete inability to form meaningful relationships. I will likely die alone.”

“Buzzbee’s Bugaboo Banquet . . .”

a) helped me “develop good nutrition habits—I learned to love vegetables!”
b) “sickened me with its depiction of endless gluttony and consumerism,” which caused “uncontrolled eating and hoarding.”
c) made “crystal clear the disgusting materialism of the United States” and helped “foment my lifelong commitment to anarchist insurrection.”

“New versions of Bugaboo Playtime should . . .”

a) “stay just the same for future generations to enjoy exactly as I did!”
b) come with “severe warnings similar to tobacco products.”
c) “only be used as a tool of psychological warfare against our most hated enemies.”

Thanks Bug-a-buddy! And have a Big, Bright, Bugaboo Day!™