People Are Pooping In Lines At Disney Parks — And It's Not Just Kids
ORANGE COUNTY, CA — How to put this delicately? What appears to be happening in the long lines at Disneyland is next-level crop dusting. Too vague? How’s this: Some people are letting their kids pull down their pants and poop right there on the promenade.
This is not the stuff of fairy tales and magic kingdoms, but another kind of show entirely, according to a Disney World subreddit thread. Multiple people swear it’s true, and many of them swear about it in general. Wouldn’t you?
We get it. There are serious problems in the world. But sometimes, you just have to go down the toilet of seventh-grade humor. So, fair warning: If you can’t laugh at a well-played poo joke, this story isn’t for you. But if you are a little bit fascinated by it, you’re going to want to read on.
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While waiting in the queue for the Rise of the Resistance rides at the Disneyland theme park in Anaheim, “someone let their kid take a dump on the floor and then they just walked out and left it,” a subreddit user who goes by the handle of Phoenixwade wrote, lobbing the first stink bomb in a discussion that’s been going on for a couple of months.
“For the skeptics — this actually happened,” another user said, corroborating Phoenixwade’s unpleasant experience. “Fun fact: This is one of three [such] incidents at Rise. Less fun fact: I was here for all three of them.”
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“Sorry to hear it,” Phoenixwade replied. “I only saw (and smelled) the one near the first command console-looking thing.”
Is this just not the least-Disney thing ever? It had to be a bad day, right? A one-off, not a regular thing?
Nope, a person who identified themself as a former cast member chimed in.
“That’s not unusual, sad to say,” the person said. “We had people tell their kids to go potty behind our stand, even when the bathroom access was across the way.”
‘The Poop Hallway’
Several people shared experiences that make it clear pooping in public is a more general phenomenon, but with seven of the 10 most-visited theme parks in the world, Disney and long lines go together like Mickey and Minnie. Stories naturally pile up.
“Whatchay’all know about the poop hallway at Flight of Passage?” asked a custodial coordinator at Walt Disney World in Lake Buena Vista, Florida, who worked the exhibit when it opened.
People waited in four-hour lines to get in, and “there was one backstage hallway halfway through that was notorious for guests going in and dropping trou,” the person said. “People pooped in this particular hallway so much that they had to put that bathroom in nearby.”
“Is that poop?” a guy asked his wife at Halloween last year when he was about to sit down on a seat on the Buzz Lightyear ride at Disneyland. “Some kid had left a little Tootsie Roll-looking turd in the seat, and it was on my husband’s candy bag,” the guy’s wife explained.
The dude got a new trick or treat candy bag out of the deal, though. And a poopless seat.
Parents got a good thrashing over the head with an almost literal dirty diaper for letting their kids pop a squat wherever they are, rather than get out of line and take them to nearby restrooms.
“The day you become a parent, you realize not actively trying to kill your kids puts you in the top 90% of parents,” someone said. “Not letting them just randomly (expletive) on the floor in public gets you to 99%.”
At least the guy whose next-level crop duster fouled the splash pad at Epcot Center at Walt Disney World Resort “curbed” the kid, said a woman who was visiting the resort with her husband and their 4-year-old daughter. She was happily splashing in the water until her parents saw the other dad picking up poop as he patrolled the play area.
“I honestly couldn’t believe my eyes,” she said. “Their child clearly pooped, and it was falling out into the splash pad.”
That was the end of their daughter’s fun. “They ended up shutting it down to be cleaned, thank goodness, but that was so disgusting,” she said. “So this story doesn’t surprise me!”
What Are You Going To Do, Though?
It happens. Do you just hold your nose and pretend it’s not there?
“So what does everyone else do in line when something like this happens? How does it not cause fights/arguments?” said one user who admitted to being a jerk about such things. “I’d absolutely say something. Especially if you have to continue standing in line with these people.”
“See,” another person said, “I’d be the person to call this (expletive) out in front of everyone if I saw it. I’m usually pretty timid and try to keep to myself, but that’s completely unacceptable.”
The person who started the thread said everybody in line silently warned the others in line, explaining: “Everybody politely pointed it out to the person behind them, and then those did so behind them and so on until the cast member showed up … about 10 minutes later … to deal with it.”
‘I Can Recall Every Second Of It’
Kids aren’t impervious to poop that’s not where it should be, though. One user stopped just short of acknowledging trauma.
“This happened on my very first trip to Disney,” the person said. “My mother, who grew up going to Disney World, wanted to take my little brother and me there for years; my father never wanted to spend the money. It was the first thing she did when their divorce was finalized.
“She was so happy that she cried with every photo she took of us, every ride we rode together and through the whole parade. But the only vivid memory I have that I can replay in may mind and recall every second of is when that kid (expletive) in the line of Small World right in front of us.”
A visitor to Disney’s Port Orleans Resort in Lake Buena Vista, Florida, in June had a “Caddyshack” moment in the pool. It wasn’t a Baby Ruth candy bar, either.
“I thought it was a leaf until a little girl swam up beside us to ask a lifeguard, ‘Did you get the doody yet? I saw it with my goggles,’ So glad I didn’t try and fish that leaf out myself,” the person said.
It’s Not Just Little Kids
And it’s not just young kids who can’t hold it any longer who are letting nature call wherever they may be.
“There was a teenager that just dropped a log whilst waiting for Fantasmic to start in August,” said a visitor to Disneyland. “He was escorted away, but I felt so angry and upset for the [cast members] having to clean that.”
Adults are guilty, too, said a user who stayed at Disney’s Pop Century Resort in Lake Buena Vista. While heading to the park’s about-to-open main gates, the guest stumbled on “a massive, adult size turd on the walkway.”
“I have so many questions,” the person said. “It wasn’t even a full turd. It was a half turd.”
You had to see this play on the resort’s name from another user: “More like ‘Poop Century.’ ”
The anal humor continued with my-poo-story-is-better-than-your-poo-story saltiness. We’ll stop now and return you to the real world where Human Resources and your great Aunt Nellie are frowning.
Except to share this last bit from someone who goes by The_Inflictor:
“Don’t hate. They’re just improving the theming.” (Click on the link.)
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