Month: July 2019

Exactly twelve years ago, on July 29, 2007, national opinion polls declared the front-runner for the Republican Presidential nomination to be one Rudolph Giuliani, the bombastic former New York City mayor. In second place, seven points back, was a retired Tennessee senator and actor, Fred Thompson. Languishing in third place, another five points behind, was…

Your story in this week’s issue, “Motherless Child,” revolves around Olive Kitteridge, who was the protagonist of your 2008 story collection, “Olive Kitteridge,” and will be the protagonist of a sequel, “Olive, Again,” which comes out this fall. What made you want to go back to Olive (or move forward with her)? I never intended…

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—A government-subsidized housing structure has fallen into a dangerous state and has become thoroughly infested with criminals and rats, a leading congressman warned on Saturday. The building has become “the territory of vicious gangsters who roam freely and consider themselves above the law,” Representative Elijah Cummings, a Democrat of Maryland, said. The…

Historians may recall this week for Robert Mueller’s anticlimactic testimony on Capitol Hill. But they could also recall it as the moment when, with the passage of a sweeping new budget deal in the House of Representatives, the Republican Party leadership called time on fiscal conservatism—the doctrine of cutting spending, balancing budgets, and reducing the…

The morning after Donald Trump tweeted, in a clear reference to four U.S. congresswomen of color, that they should “go back” to where they came from, Ritchie Torres, a member of the New York City Council, announced that he will run for Congress. The timing was coincidental, but Torres, who is gay and Afro-Latino, could…

Consider the penis: the cock, the anaconda, the boner. There is a case to be made—the comedian Jacqueline Novak makes it with the thoroughness of a champion debater in her new one-woman show, “Get on Your Knees”—that the descriptive language we use for the male member is not really descriptive at all. The phrase “rock…

Shortly before four o’clock on Wednesday afternoon, Boris Johnson gave his first address as Britain’s seventy-seventh Prime Minister. Like the seventy-sixth, Theresa May, Johnson has entered Downing Street at a time of acute national distress, elected by the members of the Conservative Party rather than by the population as a whole. But that is where…

After so much waiting—a hundred and twenty-four days, to be precise, since Robert Mueller’s report was delivered—perhaps it was bound to be a disappointment. Still, three hours after the former special counsel took the witness stand on Wednesday to testify about his investigation of President Trump and Russian interference in the 2016 election, the MSNBC…

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On Wednesday, the former special counsel Robert Mueller testified before the House Judiciary and Intelligence committees about his report on Russian interference in the 2016 Presidential election. Mueller and his team charged several members of Trump’s inner circle with a variety of crimes but did not indict anyone for conspiring with the Russian government. On…