While You Were Offline: Scaramucci, Scaramucci, Couldn't You Do the Fandango?

Boys named Alexander in children's books have terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days. People on the internet, however, often have terrible, horrible, no good, very bad weeks. This last week was one of those. But let's say that maybe you've been out of range for the last few days and have no idea what's been going on. If so, we have two things to say: First, congratulations! You're probably much more rested than the fully-Twitter-engaged masses. Second, here's what you might have missed, all wrapped up with a bow. Open carefully.

Scooch, Mooch

What Happened: After just 11 days on the job, Anthony Scaramucci was relieved of his position as White House communications director.

What Really Happened: When Anthony Scaramucci arrived at the White House a little over two weeks ago, he seemed to bring with him a whole new era—one that saw the departure of both the White House's press secretary and chief of staff. Surely Scaramucci—the self-styled "Mooch"—was here to stay!

Oh, OK. Guess not.

Scaramucci's dismissal got all kinds of coverage, but it was Twitter that really embraced the news:

Of course, not everyone was celebrating the end of the Mooch Era.

Meanwhile, at the White House itself, it seemed as though things weren't going so smoothly.

That's certainly an ignominious end to his brief career in public service—and a curiously fitting one, considering how loudly he got started, perhaps. But why shouldn't Scaramucci be upset? He hadn't even technically started the job yet

The Takeaway: Just because The Mooch is down, doesn't mean he's out, though. Sure, his late week online comeback got cancelled at the last moment, but there's always a chance he'll make a triumphant return, and then where will we be?

Yes, But Who Does Stephen Miller Look Like to You?

What Happened: White House senior policy advisor Stephen Miller came back from seeming exile last week to discuss a new US immigration policy. It went… poorly.

What Really Happened: Remember Stephen Miller? He's the guy who was very briefly the face of the Trump Administration's Muslim travel ban and, as a result, became a figurehead for those seeking to understand the Trump era. He'd disappeared from public view for a while as a result, but returned last week to talk about a controversial new immigration reform bill that would, among other things, implement a point system to evaluate visa applicants based on indicators like their education level and ability to speak English.

As soon as President Trump held his White House address to endorse the Senate bill, reporters and fact-checkers went about detailing the ways the proposed policy likely wouldn't be as successful as promised while others noted it's likely to hurt the economy. But it was Miller's attempt to defend the plan that got everyone talking.

In the course of that contentious press briefing, things got heated when Miller tried to "explain" that the Statue of Liberty isn't really about welcoming any tired, poor or huddled masses after all. Twitter, what do you think?

Amidst that dust-up, social media once again went on a quest to determine who (or what) Miller reminds them of.

The Takeaway: If nothing else, Miller seems to be continuing his winning streak as the administration's most popular guy.

Support Your Local Milk People

What Happened: Never mind the "forgotten man" mentioned so often on the campaign trail; now President Trump is concerned about the local milk people. No, you didn't misread that.

What Really Happened: Last week, amidst everything else leaking out of the White House, the Washington Post released transcripts of President Trump's introductory calls to foreign leaders. They were something. Of particular interest to Twitter, even moreso than Trump's pleading with the Mexican president not to publicly say he wasn't going to pay for a border wall, was a comment Trump made when talking to Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull about immigration, complaining about an existing agreement to take in 1,250 refugees.

"I hate taking these people," Trump said. "I guarantee you they are bad. That is why they are in prison right now. They are not going to be wonderful people who go on to work for the local milk people." If you're thinking, "milk people"? you're not alone.

Surprising absolutely no one, the meme-ness of milk people didn't go unnoticed.

The Takeaway: Please also spare a thought for the non-local milk people.

The Jury's Duty

What Happened: News broke late last week that Justice Department Special Counsel Robert Mueller was impaneling a grand jury in the DOJ's ongoing investigation into whether or not President Trump or any members of his campaign colluded with Russia in the 2016 election. The news immediately got the internet excited—and perhaps a little confused, too.

What Really Happened: By now you're probably thinking, "Wow, this has been a really bad week for the Trump Administration. Surely things couldn't get worse!" which should be your first sign that things are about to get worse.

Yeah, that's not a good sign—and not just for the president.

As everyone in the media breathlessly reported on the latest development, Twitter responded in its own Twitter-like way.

Meanwhile, some were willing to admit that they didn't really understand what was going on.

Turns out, she wasn't alone.

Don't worry, though; it's the internet. There were, of course, plenty wanting to explain at length.

Needless to say, some folks were on the president's side.

The Takeaway: OK, hands up everyone who suddenly finds themselves wanting to do jury duty for the first time in their lives.

#IfTwitterDidntExist

What Happened: Twitter users imagined a world without Twitter… and then talked about it on Twitter.

What Really Happened: And finally, let's go for something lighter and non-political, as Twitter spent last Friday morning having a collective reflective moment and asking itself, what the world would be like #IfTwitterDidntExist.

We said this would be non-political, right? Because otherwise…

…Man, politics gets everywhere these days.

The Takeaway: For real, though, let's end on a high note.

Don't know about Black Girl Nerds? Then you probably missed their collaboration with Netflix this week, #FirstTimeISawMe, about representation in the media. You should fix that now, by watching below and reading this.

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